So you may have heard of all the bizarre and wild weather hitting our nation, the great old US of A; 41 inches of snow in New Mexico, 10 inches of rain in Arkansas, Missouri and Oklahoma and warmer than normal in December for my home of New England where we saw 60+ degree days! Needless to say we New Englanders were quite spoiled by this unseasonably warm air- whether we call it an Indian summer or Indian winter- I wasn’t complaining about not needing my bulky coat and fuzzy hat! But last night and throughout the day today were C-O-L-D. I mean the kind of cold that literally froze my damp hair in less than two minutes time last night!
Since I store my mat in my car (so I don’t forget it!), it was as cold as ice when I un-rolled it in class this morning. I swear I should’ve seen steam rising from it as it flopped to the floor in the 90 degree room. But I knew in hardly anytime at all the room and my body heat would radiate and both my mat and I would be toasty yet. What I didn’t expect was for the thaw to reach inside my heart today.
Now I don’t want to make myself out to be the Grinch by any means but I definitely harbor a lot of emotional scars deep within my very fibers, muscles and tissues that yoga has allowed me to slowly release. Some people have church pews and bibles, I have my mat and savasanas (corpse pose meant to signify the release of all that no longer serves you- and yes- I’ve cried my way through some of them). During some of the heart opening poses like half moon and in particular Camel, I could feel my heart fibers opening and expanding to release and surrender- to no longer bear the burden they carried for so long.
Can I tell you what that burden was exactly? No- I have no clue what it was or what was ‘lost’ today. But I can tell you that it freed me and I felt lighter, happier, emotional and FREE. It sounds so cheesy and when I spoke to my husband about it tonight, I almost felt embarrassed, like ,”Who am I? Am I really this deep and quite frankly weird?” (I mean I like being a weirdo, but a SPIRITUAL weirdo?!) I told him how going to the mall I was the oddball smiling at everyone and all I could think of was that I was seeing the light in others (Namaste). Instead of people watching and being such a negative and hateful person, I saw couples and was happy for them that they found happiness, I could see their glow instead of diminishing their light with a negative thought I just saw the beauty in them- all of them.
Today I let go of something and it felt INCREDIBLE to just put whatever IT was aside and become a better version of myself- the version I’ve been striving to be and will continue to cultivate. So thank you yet again yoga for bringing me light and happiness.
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